We have all done the "I’m Fine" dance.
A friend asks, "Hey, are you okay? You seem quiet." You force a smile and say, "Yeah! I'm fine. Just tired."
Inside, however, you definitely aren't fine. You feel... weird. Maybe a mix of annoyed, anxious, heavy, and jittery all at once. It feels like a storm cloud is swirling in your chest, but you just ignore it and push through the day.
But here is the problem: Ignoring the storm doesn't make it go away. It usually makes it louder.
Psychologists have a catchphrase for the solution, and it is catchy for a reason: "Name It to Tame It."
It turns out, the simple act of putting a specific word to your feeling is one of the fastest ways to calm your brain down.
The Brain Science (The Librarian vs. The Alarm)
To understand why this works, we have to look inside your head.
When you feel that messy, swirling stress, your Amygdala (the emotional alarm bell) is going crazy. It’s screaming, "SOMETHING IS WRONG!" but it isn't using words. It's just using feelings.
To calm down, you need to wake up your Prefrontal Cortex. Think of this part of your brain as the Librarian. It is logical, calm, and organized.
When you stop and say, "I am feeling anxious because I have a deadline," or "I am feeling lonely," you are forcing the Librarian to come into the room.
The Librarian looks at the Alarm and says, "Oh, is that what we are upset about? Okay, I’ve filed that away. We can handle that."
The moment you label the fear, the chemical reaction in your brain actually changes. The alarm gets quieter because it knows it has been heard.
Don't Just Say "Bad"
The trick to making this work is to be specific.
Most of us have a very limited emotional vocabulary. We usually just say: "I feel good," "I feel bad," or "I feel stressed."
But "Stressed" is a big, vague blanket. To tame the emotion, you need to pinpoint it.
Next time you feel off, ask yourself: "What is the specific flavor of this feeling?"
Are you Sad? Or are you actually Disappointed?
Are you Mad? Or are you actually Hurt?
Are you Anxious? Or are you actually Overwhelmed?
Why does this matter? Because the solution for "Disappointed" is different than the solution for "Sad."
If you are Sad, you might need a cry and a nap.
If you are Disappointed, you might need to lower your expectations or try again.
When you name it correctly, you know how to fix it.
Speak It to Release It
You don't even have to say this out loud to another person. You can just whisper it to yourself.
"I am feeling frustrated right now."
Feel that? That tiny release of pressure? That is the Librarian taking over. You aren't drowning in the feeling anymore; you are observing it.
And once you can observe it, you can handle it.
Join the Fun
Do you have a word that describes your "Monday Morning Mood" perfectly? (We like "Blurgh" or "Caffeinating").
Come share your favorite made-up emotion words on our Facebook Page!